Well ladies and gentlemen, if you've never witnessed KISS in all their glory you're in luck. Why you ask? Because I recently had the privilege of seeing them live at the Oracle arena with a bunch of my friends for Joel's (fill in your desired age for Joel to be) birthday. Not only that, but we had VIP box seats. Ballin!
We all met up at Metro and said happy birthday to this old bastard.
Katrina, Kate, and a nice guy named Skip were also there when I arrived
Then out of the cuts this weirdo arrived
Tickets were then promptly handed out
Everyone was a little antsy to get moving but we lurked in metro for a good while before taking off
Thats the place!
Corey hooked Brendin and I up with a ride to the place. Here he is harassing some scalpers who were harassing us
Some of us had to go to will call. There weren't any lines though, probably because we were like 2 hours early.
To waste some time we took pictures next to the Gene Simmons bus
We got a little bit into it...
Someone had to use the bathroom so we waited...
But then we rocked on inside.
Jesse was as astonished as I was by the fact that there is actually carpeting in the Oracle arena. You just have to be VIPs to see it I guess.
Welcome to the digs. That blue thing in the background is the stage
We even had our own private bathroom!
And also a waitress!
The only problem was that beer was $40 for a sixer. I know it says $27 but thats without tax and S&H
This is what an $8 beer looks like
Brendin only paid $9.50 for his. Look at how stoked he is!
We also had tv to pass the time while we waited for Buckcherry to go on. Thats right. Fucking Buckcherry was the opening act. What a joke! HAHAHAHA
This is how early we got there.
But Joel was hyped anyway
Corey and Brendin rough housed to pass the time
In the end Brendin won out by dropping Corey to the floor and choking him out. It got kind of gnarly for a second.
So gnarly that Brendin ended up with this scratch on his face
They were still bros afterward though. Look at how concerned Jesse looks!
After that we went freak hunting
I don't know why this is so creepy but it is
We went downstairs to try and find some face paint too and ended up near the stage while buckcherry went on
Blurry picture of the Buckcherry dude. We fully missed this band while looking for face paint but then again who gives a shit; its Buckcherry
"Hey man, you got any extra face paint?"
Pinhead was at the show too just walking around
Then we found our face painting oasis. AND it was free!
Even Santa had to get painted for the show
We had to wait a long time but eventually it was our turn. Joel went first
Looking good
KISS ARMY '09
Brendin got his done by the feminine gay dude with a goatee
This is a good look for Brendin
I got a couple hearts. I think they make me look tough.
Kiss sluts!
After that we went back to the room to show off our sweet new paint
Brendin cried a little bit because we missed his favorite band Buckcherry
Kisses
Butt
Ladies and gentlemen, KISS!!!
They appeared in a cloud of smoke
I wonder who it was that decided platform shoes were a good look for men...
Inferno time
Get on your knees and ROCK
FIRE!
Brendin needs more!
KISS rocked so hard Brendin started licking air babys
I was licking things too. Mainly beer though
Behind the back shred guitaring.
Gale was feeling it
Joel found the performance mediocre at best
Just kidding, he was feeling it
Kate was feeling it as well!
SOLO!
The dude's drumming platform spun in circles
He was drumming backwards too
"AND GET OFF YOUR BUTTS AND BUY OUR NEW CD AT WAL-MART!" Yeah, he really said that.
Gene Simmons rocking an axe and some big guns
So epic
Then he started bleeding from his mouth!
His mouth bleeding problem got a little worse
"What are you kids doing on my lawn?"
Then he just started flying
He perched himself on the rafters
This picture is hilarious to me
"I am the greatest!"
They all started rocking again after awhile
Everybody watched intently as the rocking took place. And yes, that is Tony Trujillo and Chad Bartie at the bar. Weird huh?
And then there was more on-the-knees rocking. I guess you just can't rock hard enough while standing
Don't fuck with the KISS army, man
Then fucking confetti started spraying all over the place
"I CAN'T HEAR YA"
Oh shit, its snowing paper
"SHOUT IT OUT LOOOOOOOUD"
Jesse consistently makes the best background faces ever
Table dancing Tony, dancing on stuff
Kate and Brendin loving life
Still dancin
There was nothing but love in the front row
Then Kate fell over
Somehow Corey made it onto the jumbotron
It was at about this point that things just started getting ridiculous
"Check out what we can do!"
"BEHOLD, a guitar! Oh shit!"
"Hey guys? Don't be mad at me or nothin... but I accidently dropped my guitar because I was holding it all stupid"
"Seriously, its broke guys. Anybody have another one I can borrow?"
Then he just floated away...
And landed on a magic platform
Butt
"Seriously guys, shop at Wal-Mart"
I think its a little too big to be a cock ring
"What the hell is that?"
He floated back and then continued to rock
C Duffs also continued to rock
I believe that it was at about this point that these two ladies started grinding on each other.
It was also the point where the people below us started leaving because certain people in our box may or may not have been throwing beer on them.
The finale contained fire works
A lot of them actually
"We love you allllllll!"
"GOOD NIGHT!"
Security came and escorted us out because apparently some dudes were looking for us
Bartie and Kat were unfazed though
Nap time
Finally, we took a KISS KREW picture (minus me for obvious reasons) and called it a night
